We never know what having a baby will be like until we do it. So it’s no surprise that most of us can be very “by the books” the first time around. I definitely was. When I was pregnant with Jackson, I was very cautious about everything I did and I planned everything out, fully expecting his arrival to be just perfect. Though his arrival was perfect (having a baby is perfect no matter what), I learned that a lot of what I did during my pregnancy to get prepared for him wasn’t completely necessary.
Now, I’m not saying not to do the things I’m going to talk about. I’m just saying I kind of obsessed over little things that, in reality, were not worth obsessing over. Now that I’m pregnant with baby no. 2, I definitely have a different view on some things. These are 5 things I’m doing differently this pregnancy.
1. Baby’s nursery is not set up. Or planned. When I was pregnant with Jackson, I’m pretty sure we had his nursery totally complete by the time I was 34 weeks. We shopped for all the furniture pieces, had a cute sports theme, walls were decorated, and we even made our own curtain rods to match the theme. This baby so far has a crib, with no mattress, and that’s it (for his room). And we have no plans on setting that crib up or buying nursery pieces any time soon. I could blame this partly on the fact that we’re moving into a new house 3 weeks before I’m due, but if I’m being honest, that’s not why we haven’t planned his nursery. I learned from the first time around that the nursery will hardly get any use for the first several months. Jackson slept in our room in a bassinet for the first four months of his life, and I plan to do the same with this babe. The rocker we got for Jackson’s nursery ended up being moved to the living room and our bedroom, because that’s where I sat with him when he was an infant. His diapers and wipes were all over the house because, let’s be honest, diaper changes happen everywhere. We truly didn’t utilize Jackson’s nursery (with the exception of his closet) for the first 4 months of his life. So I’m in no rush to create the “perfect” nursery until we need to.
2. I’m not buying as much “stuff.” This is a hard one, I’m not going to lie. It’s SO tempting to buy EVERYTHING when you have a baby on the way. Everything is so tiny and cute, and it’s super exciting to get baby stuff. But I learned that a lot of what I bought the first time didn’t get used or wasn’t necessary. So, I’m utilizing much more self-control this time. Jackson had a walk-in closet FULL of clothes before he was even born. Like, an absurd amount of clothes. I changed him multiple times per day just to get use out of everything he had. This baby has enough to get him started and a lot of this stuff is hand me downs from Jackson. Jackson had 30+ baby blankets; it was insane. This baby has a couple hand me downs and a pack of 3 new swaddles. With Jackson, Austin (my hubby) and I each had our own diaper bags full of anything you could think of to put in a diaper bag. Austin never used his. Jackson had so many toys, a fancy swing, a diaper genie, walkers, play tents for outside, and the list goes on. And we didn’t use even half of it. This time, I’m going in with the basics and we can always get things as we feel we need them.
*I know that a LOT of baby items come as gifts from baby showers, so I am just referring to things that WE bought.
3. We have formula on hand. I thought I had it all planned out and that breastfeeding was just going to happen with no issues. I was so wrong. Read about my breastfeeding journey here. We didn’t have any formula before Jackson was born, because I truly did not think we would need it. I had no plans to formula feed him. But on our first night home, Austin ended up having to go to Walgreens at 4:00AM to get formula because Jackson could not latch and I didn’t have any pumped milk to give him. He was hungry and we were not prepared. So, this time I have a carton of formula that we can use in case we need it. I don’t know if breastfeeding will be as hard the second time around, but I’m going to be prepared if it is.
4. I’m drinking caffeine. And have had a few deli sandwiches. I know, I’m living on the edge! Seriously though, I do take what I’m eating and drinking seriously, but I’m not as strict on myself as I was the first time around. When I was pregnant with Jackson, I switched to decaf coffee and never drank a soda with caffeine in it. Now that I basically NEED caffeine in the mornings (toddler mom problems), I’m sticking with my regular coffee. I don’t drink more than 2 cups anyway, so I’m still within a reasonable caffeine content for the day. I’ll also occasionally have a Diet Coke or Chai Latte in the afternoons. Another “rule” I’ve broken is with deli sandwiches. I’ve had a few during this pregnancy. I don’t feel like it’s the end of the world, and sometimes the cravings just win.
*I am NOT recommending going against what your doctor advises. Please do not take this as advice to eat/drink anything without consulting your doctor.
5. I’m keeping an open mind. I feel like this goes without saying. The first time I was pregnant, I wanted everything to be perfect and just how I always envisioned it. Don’t we all? It doesn’t always happen that way, and I learned that I need to keep an open mind when it comes to such a major life change. I was not open minded to formula feeding, now I plan to use it to supplement. I was scared to death of the possibility of having a c section, this time it was a real possibility and I accepted it. I was not super comfortable with NOT being around Jackson 24/7, now I can’t wait for my mom or mother-in-law to babysit! Basically, I’m much more open to things not being “perfect” and going as planned this time. I’m letting go of some control. As long as baby boy is happy, healthy, and taken care of, everything else will happen the way it’s supposed to.
Those are the main things I’m doing differently this pregnancy. Please don’t take this as “advice” or feel like you’re doing too much if you do these things. There is nothing wrong with buying a lot of stuff, or cutting caffeine, or having the nursery totally ready to go. These things are part of what make pregnancy exciting, especially with your first! There’s no right or wrong way to prep for a new baby. I don’t regret anything I did or didn’t do when I was pregnant with Jackson, I’m just in a different mindset this time.
Do what makes YOU happy and what YOU feel like is right and necessary for your family. Enjoy your pregnancy, no matter what number it is, and stay excited for your new little bundle to arrive.
