It’s safe to say that motherhood changes us. Our priorities change, our relationships change, and our bodies definitely change. But do WE, as women, human beings, change? I know I’m not the only one whose looked in the mirror and thought “who ARE you?”
Nothing changes our lives as much as having a baby. Experiencing these changes has led me to give motherhood the title of “The Ultimate Identity Thief.”
I get that “Identity Thief” has a negative connotation, but in this situation I don’t mean it in the totally life ruining kind of way. Just the semi life ruining kind of way. KIDDING.
All jokes aside, changing your life to revolve around your tiny human(s) often means you put yourself last. You become a mom-bot and can’t even remember what the old you was like.
I’m there. I’ve quit a job and stayed home wearing nothing but leggings and dirty t-shirts for the sake of raising Jackson without the help of a daycare or a babysitter. I’ve given up trying to make friends or spending time with current friends. I haven’t gotten a haircut since Jackson was 2 months old (and he’s 22 months now). I’ve downsized my makeup from a “collection” to a tinted sunscreen, brow pencil, and mascara. And I used to LOVE makeup. My sleep is shit, I shower in 5 minutes AFTER Austin gets home from work, and I am pulling time out of my ass to work on this blog.
When asked what I like to do and what makes me happy, my answers usually sound something like this: “I like to spend time with Jackson. I like taking Jackson places and experiencing things with him. What makes me happy is seeing Jackson happy.” Any of that sound familiar? I mean, those are all true things, and absolutely things that should make me happy, but is that all there is to my life?
When I think about my kid(s) doing a class presentation one day on who they most look up to, I see them talking about their dad. Which is awesome! I want them to look up to their dad, of course. But I also want them to look up to me. I want my kids to see me as more than their mom. More than the maker of lunches and master laundry folder. More than the wiper of hands and butts and washer of the dishes. More than a stay-at-home mom whose excitement for the day consists of making after-school snacks and being first in the school pickup line. I’m more than a good pb&j, dammit. And so are you!
YOU ARE MORE THAN THEIR MOM.
I’ll be honest – I WISH I had the right advice or tips to get out of this identity crisis, but the truth is I’m still finding my own way. Motherhood is a journey of learning new things every day. New things about your little one, life, love, and yourself. It’s a journey that never ends. That is why it’s so important to not lose yourself, or to find yourself again sooner than later.
Here’s what I can say: motherhood is the most amazing experience life can offer. It opens up a whole new world and perspective on pretty much everything. Enjoy it and make the most of it, but also make time for yourself EVERY DAY. Don’t give up everything that makes you happy just because your priorities become your kids. YOU need to be a priority for yourself, too.
I hope this short little post has given you a sense of support and motivation knowing you’re not alone in this motherhood identity crisis. Motherhood is the ultimate Identity Thief but us mamas are strong enough to stand up to it and KICK ITS ASS.
